(OMTimes | Ascending Hearts) Do you suffer from an impossible love that you just can’t forget?
Learn how to forget an impossible love
Forgetting an impossible love is not an easy task.We call it “Impossible” when that love that can never become a stable relationship or that one party has ended it before it has begun or matured. It is these types of love interest that give birth to the most profound mourning, and sometimes they are the most difficult to forget. It is paradoxical because, if they did not finally flourish, in theory, they should not give rise to inflict so many sufferings, but they do.
The more practical people tend to do not complicate their life with an impossible love. When they realize that there are no conditions to build or maintain the bonds of love, they immediate accept and put an end to it in time. But most of us, on the other hand, find it very difficult to give up the expectations, illusions or dreams that have been created around that problematic relationship. For us, the feeling is stronger than the evidence of its unfeasibility.
One way or another, an impossible love is not an easy one to forget. It leaves profound marks, precisely because it was not lived or worn until the moment when it was necessary to renounce it: the idealization was not broken. But while you do not forget everything, you can process that feeling and set it aside to move on.
Here are 7 tips to achieve this goal
“Love is like a war, easy to start, difficult to finish, impossible to forget.”
-Henry Louis Mencken-
- Define to yourself what makes this love an impossible love
There is a big difference between a challenging or conflicted love and an impossible love. The latter cannot exist. The most typical case, and also the one involving the most emotional difficulties, is that of someone who loves and is not reciprocated. It may be more accurate to say that one person loves and needs another, but this other does not feel the same. True love is always two.Of course, you can try to win someone who shows no interest in a beginning. At the same time, it is also important to understand that there is a point where it is necessary to accept that the investment has no future. The same applies to other impossibilities that usually have this same element in common: one wants, and the other does not. If there is no mutual feeling, there is no viability.
- Examine your fantasies about love
It is very common that the difficulty in renouncing an impossible love comes from some fantasies that have settled down in the culture. For example, the “half orange” or the “love of life.” From these imaginaries comes the idea that there is only one person “predestined” to be our partner.
- Recognize the negative aspects of this relationship
Passion, not love, quickly leads us to idealize people and situations. Sometimes we project into them virtues and attributes that they do not really have, or that they only possess in a modest measure. To dilute these mental constructs, it is essential that we also evaluate the harmful elements of their interactions with us.What flaws does this person has that you love so much? What disappointing aspects are there? Can you think of how these shortcomings and faults would continue to manifest in the next 10 years? Are these the questions you should ask yourself and try to respond with complete honesty? If so, after asking yourself, in the end, your perspective will likely to be more realistic.
- Accept candidly that it’s time to forget
This is the hardest step. It has been proven that when a person wants to be in a loving relationship with someone, and it is not possible, reactions are produced similarly to those that an addict has during the withdrawal syndrome. Emotional discomfort, and even physical discomfort, sometimes becomes difficult to tolerate. And as with addictions, the most challenging thing is to accept that dependence exists, that it generates profound suffering and feels powerless before it. It seems natural to admit, but it is not. Sometimes we are capable of inventing and rationalizing any pretext not to accept that we are, in fact, just a victim of dependency. When you can admit it, you take the most crucial step towards liberation. This focuses on, empowers and clarifies the next steps to follow.
- Delete links and delete memories
Once you recognize that it is time to leave this impossible love behind, what follows is to begin the consistent cutting all the bonds that may still subsist. That means not calling, not trying new dates, keeping a distance from their friends, and keep doing whatever you can to break the ties you have with that person. In particular, cut all links in social networks: they are very treacherous.In the same logic, it is necessary to suppress memories. Delete photos, get rid of gifts. If you are not ready to get rid of them, then gather everything and store everything in a hard-to-reach place. If your decision is firmer, get rid of everything right away. It is an efficient way of blurring and diluting the presence of this impossible love in your life.
- Change your routine, try something new
It’s time to start a new stage. Impossible love affairs may have occupied many of your hours, your days and even your years. Letting go, it will not be easy. However, if you set Yourself out to make that change, everything will become simpler and more straightforward. Yes, there are things you’ve always wanted to do, and for one reason or another, you’ve postponed. Now is the time to meet these “issues.”The time to give the final goodbye is also the time to venture into new activities or new places, and even in new relationships. Traveling is always a great alternative. How about you propose to that? It’s also worth exploring your skills, taking a course that will get you to meet new people or practice an exciting hobby? Life goes on, and your heart renewed will suggest you more than a thousand of new things to do.
- Give it time
There are love stories and love affairs, and some of them leave marks so deep that they do not go away naturally, allowing new things that happen.An impossible love almost always takes root for a long time and resists not being remembered. It is something that, in any case, cannot be rid of overnight. It requires decision, courage, and character. It costs, and there will be small relapses, but time will help you release and forget.
If you are clear that you can not continue to nurture a love interest than that love cannot exist. When you also cut off the bonds and set out to start a new life, you will gradually see that it is possible to forget an impossible love.
You can rewrite the story in your life in a way that the person will occupy a different place in your mind and in your heart. You will progressively feel more peace in your soul. You will find that in this process of loving and then letting them go, you have learned a lot about yourself and grown.
And of course, nothing helps you forget a challenging relationship like a new consciously aligned with your alchemized energy.
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