The art of not taking it personally: Tips for a healthier work life

9 september 2025

(Global Heart) Stop taking things personally at work. This guide for sensitive people offers actionable tips to manage emotions, set boundaries, and thrive in any workplace. Learn how to separate your worth from your work, practice emotional intelligence, and build resilience.

Survival tips for sensitive people at work

Sensitive people, often referred to as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), may find the workplace particularly challenging. The constant influx of stimuli—from criticism to casual comments—can feel overwhelming and personal, leading to stress and burnout. Learning how not to take things personally is a powerful skill that can help you thrive rather than just survive.

Here are a few survival tips for sensitive people at work.

Mindset shift

Separate your identity from your work

This is the most crucial step. It’s easy to tie your self-worth to your job performance, but it’s an unhealthy combination for a sensitive person. Feedback on a project or a critique of your presentation is about the work itself, not a reflection of your character or value as a person.

Tip: When you receive feedback, pause and mentally rephrase it. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m a failure because my report was criticized,” tell yourself, “The feedback on this report gives me a clear path to improve my writing skills.” This simple shift in language helps create a buffer between you and the critique.

Once you’ve learned to separate your self-worth from your work, the next step is to reframe how you view feedback entirely. This is where a growth mindset comes in.

Embrace a growth mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. When you see criticism as a chance to grow instead of a judgment of your abilities, it loses its power to hurt you.

Tip: After a difficult conversation or a piece of feedback, reflect on what you can learn from it. Write down one specific action you can take to improve next time. This process turns a moment of perceived failure into a concrete plan for success.

Practice self-motivation

Sensitive people often thrive on positive feedback and can be deeply affected by its absence. Rather than relying on external validation to stay motivated, practice finding motivation from within. This can significantly reduce the sting of criticism or perceived indifference from others.

Tip: Keep a “win log“ or a journal where you record your accomplishments, big and small. This gives you a tangible record of your success that you can look back on when you feel down. Remind yourself of the reasons you started the project or what you’ve already achieved to find a new source of fuel.

In-the-moment strategies

Stop to reflect

Instead of immediately reacting to a comment or situation that feels personal, give yourself a moment to stop and reflect. This intentional pause creates a buffer between the trigger and your emotional response. By not reacting impulsively, you can choose a more productive and healthy way to respond.

Tip: Create a simple two-step process for yourself: 1) Pause: Physically stop what you’re doing, and take a deep breath. 2) Process: Ask yourself, “What’s the most likely explanation for this?” or “Is this a real threat to me, or just a stressful moment?” This short reflection can help you see the situation more objectively.

After you’ve created that initial pause, the next crucial step is to challenge your initial assumptions about the person’s intent. You can do this by consciously choosing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Give others the benefit of the doubt

It’s easy to assume the worst when you’re sensitive to others’ actions. However, most people aren’t acting with malicious intent. A colleague’s terse email or a boss’s abrupt tone might be due to a stressful deadline, a personal problem, or simply a bad mood. Giving them the benefit of the doubt reduces the likelihood that you’ll take their behavior personally.

Tip: When you’re tempted to assume the worst, try to come up with three alternative, less personal reasons for their behavior. For example, “Maybe they’re swamped with work,” “They might have received bad news,” or “They could just be having a bad day.” This trains your mind to look for alternative explanations.

Challenge your assumptions

Highly sensitive people often have a very active “story machine” in their heads, creating narratives about what others are thinking or feeling. This can lead to you taking things personally even when they were never meant that way.

Tip: When you feel hurt by a comment, pause and consider other possible explanations. Did your boss give you a short answer because they’re busy, or because they’re angry at you? Most of the time, the situation is not about you.

Get curious, not defensive

When someone delivers a comment that stings, your natural instinct may be to get defensive or withdraw. Instead, try to approach it with curiosity. People often give feedback poorly, and their intentions may be far from malicious.

Tip: Ask clarifying questions. If a colleague says, “This isn’t what I expected,” you can respond with, “Can you help me understand what you were looking for?” or “What would an ideal version of this look like to you?” This not only provides you with more information but also shows your willingness to learn, diffusing potential tension.

Interpersonal & environmental skills

Practice emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions—both your own and those of others. Practicing EI helps you navigate social situations, build stronger relationships, and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. It’s a key skill for personal and professional success.

The four pillars of emotional intelligence Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in the field, broke down emotional intelligence into four core competencies. You can practice and improve each one:
1. Self-awareness: This is the foundation. It’s about recognizing and understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and what drives you.
  - Practice: Start a journal to track your feelings and reactions throughout the day. When you feel a strong emotion, pause and ask, “What am I feeling, and why?” This helps you identify your emotional triggers and patterns.
2. Self-management: This is the ability to control or redirect disruptive emotions and impulses. It’s about being adaptable and taking initiative.
  - Practice: When you feel an intense emotion like anger or stress, take a few deep breaths before responding. This simple act creates a pause, giving your rational brain time to catch up. Another tip is to reframe a negative thought. Instead of “I can’t believe this is happening,” try “This is a challenge, but I can figure out a way to handle it.”
3. Social awareness: This is the ability to understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people. It’s essentially empathy.
  - Practice: Become an active listener. When someone is speaking, focus on what they’re saying and their nonverbal cues (body language, tone of voice). Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” to show you’re trying to understand their perspective.
4. Relationship management: This is the skill of using awareness of your own and others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully. It includes conflict management, teamwork, and communication.
  - Practice: Work on giving and receiving constructive feedback. When giving feedback, use “I” statements to describe your feelings and the impact of a situation, rather than blaming the other person. For example, “I felt frustrated when the project was delayed,” instead of “You’re always late.” When receiving feedback, listen without interrupting and ask clarifying questions to truly understand the message.

Mastering your own emotions and understanding others’ is a powerful skill. It also helps you create a necessary boundary, especially if you tend to absorb the energy of those around you.

Stop absorbing others’ energy

Sensitive people are often like emotional sponges, soaking up the feelings and moods of those around them. This can lead to feeling drained, anxious, or overwhelmed, even if nothing negative has happened to you directly. Learning to protect your energy is a vital skill.

Tip: When you’re in a highly emotional or stressful environment, consciously create a boundary. Take a moment to imagine a filter between you and others, allowing you to hear their words but not absorb their emotions. When you leave a draining situation, consciously shake it off, as if you’re physically shedding their energy.

See the bigger picture

When you find yourself taking on the energy of others, it can be a sign that you’re too focused on the details and losing sight of the bigger picture. This can happen whether you’re dealing with a stressed-out colleague, a negative family member, or just the general buzz of a crowd.

Learning to step back and see the bigger picture can help you release that absorbed energy and maintain your own emotional equilibrium.

Understand the source: Before you can stop absorbing someone else’s energy, you need to recognize where it’s coming from. People often project their own internal states onto others without even realizing it. Their energy isn’t about you; it’s about them.
- Tip: Practice empathy without taking on the burden. You can acknowledge their feelings by thinking, “My coworker seems really stressed right now,” rather than internalizing it as, “My coworker is angry with me.”
Step back and observe: When you feel yourself getting pulled into someone else’s emotional state, mentally take a step back and become an observer. Imagine you’re watching a movie and you are a character in it, but you’re not directing the scene. This mental distance allows you to witness the situation without becoming fully immersed in it.
- Tip: Visualize a protective shield around yourself. It sounds simple, but this can be a powerful mental tool. Imagine this shield is a bubble of your own calm, positive energy that other people’s negativity can’t penetrate.
Focus on your own values and goals: Absorbing others’ energy often happens when you lose touch with your own sense of purpose. When you are clear on your own values, goals, and what you want to achieve, you become less susceptible to being sidetracked by someone else’s emotional chaos.
- Tip: Take a few moments each day to reconnect with your personal mission. This could be as simple as reviewing a list of your top three priorities for the day or reminding yourself of a long-term goal. The more grounded you are in your own purpose, the less room there is for external energy to take over.

Lean on your support system

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Having a strong support system can provide you with a much-needed reality check and a safe space to vent.

Tip: Find a trusted mentor, colleague, or friend outside of work to talk to. Sharing your experiences can help you gain perspective and realize that many people face similar challenges. Your support system can also remind you of your strengths when you’re feeling down.

Practice self-care

Set boundaries and create a calm environment

Sensitive people are highly attuned to their surroundings, and a chaotic work environment can be draining. Setting boundaries, both physical and emotional, is essential for preserving your energy.

Tip: Consider small changes to your workspace. If you work in an open office, noise-canceling headphones can be a lifesaver. Schedule “do not disturb” blocks on your calendar to get focused, uninterrupted work done. It’s also okay to politely decline after-hours social events if you need time to recharge.

Practice self-care and self-compassion

This is the foundation for all the other tips. As a sensitive person, your nervous system can get overwhelmed easily. Proactively managing your energy and treating yourself with kindness is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Tip: Establish routines that help you recharge, like a morning meditation, a walk during your lunch break, or a quiet hobby after work. When you feel hurt, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that your sensitivity is also a strength.

It’s okay to care

Are you still wondering how to stop taking things so personally? We get it. As a sensitive person who feels so intensely, you might not have an “I don’t give a f—” attitude, and that’s totally okay. It’s a good thing to care about your work and how others perceive you. It shows that you’re invested and want to make a positive impact.

The secret, however, is to not let your caring overpower you. Your empathy is a strength, but you must learn to manage its intensity. You can care deeply without letting others’ actions define your worth.

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Book tip!

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

Source: Global Heart

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