Use fear as a transformational tool
(Global Heart | Selina Maitreya) Discover how to recognize and release the old low frequency of the past, and learn new practices that will enable you to transform fear immediately into love, as soon as it shows up.
Transformational Goal: Transform fear into blessings
In the previous chapters I’ve shared with you the places where in the past you have been consistently blocking your peace, your ease, and your abundance. When your actions didn’t mirror your values, when you resisted the difficulty that occurred, when you expected life’s situations to change before you experienced happiness, and when your spiritual bank account was running in the red, you were always working from fear.
Throughout this book you have been learning how to recognize your past fear-based behaviors. You’ve been encouraged to use the exercises and meditations provided to release the low-frequency energy you’d created, which had been adversely directing your daily life responses and limiting your possibilities.
Now that you know how to recognize and release the old low frequency of the past, it’s time to learn new practices that will enable you to transform fear immediately into love, as soon as it shows up. It’s time to use any difficulty, 24/7, as the transformational tool it was always meant to be.
Your most prevalent and accessible tool for change is the low-frequency vibration that until now has kept you from the extraordinary life you seek. While you may have previously unconsciously chosen fear as your constant companion, you can now consciously choose to recognize it in the moment and use it as a transformational tool then and there, thus converting what was once a difficulty into a blessing.
One of the most profound teachings that Spirit shared with me was that the only reason we experience any difficulty in life is so we can remember and experience that we are love. They told me that if each time we felt stress or pain and recognized it as an opportunity to fill ourselves with the frequencies of kindness, patience, and gratitude, we would be using difficulty for the reason it was given to us. We would be consciously using it to experience the love that we truly are.
Sit with that and absorb the words and the high frequency they carry.
When I received that message it ran through me like a bolt of lightning.
I knew in that moment the truth of what was spoken. My life would never be the same. In an instant I became committed to learning how to utilize fear as a tool for transformation, a vehicle that would remind me to be the loving being I was meant to be.
We have all been conditioned to believe that difficulty just happens and that we need to put up with it, or to avoid it at all costs, or use it as a landing pad, or to stuff it deep inside our being. Holding on to those beliefs for years, we have moved forward like good little soldiers, missing completely the true purpose of difficulty. That one misstep has kept us from creating the lives we so deserve.
Blind spot
Living a fear-directed life
For you and for many others, fear has always been an active part of your life. Not knowing that you were directed by it—or that you had any other choice to shift away from your lifelong habit—you’ve worked very hard at accessing external sources to create the peace you sought.
That twenty-four-day meditation challenge you did, the weeklong workshop with high-profile teachers you attended, or perhaps even the one-on-one relationship with your own teacher were purposeful.
But here you are, still seeking peace.
The good news is that in the moment fear appears, the only person you truly need to engage with in your commitment to transform it into love is yourself. And the only way you can truly experience a shift is if you are present in the moment and choose to transform the frequency of difficulty into love as soon as it appears. No meditation challenge or workshop will do that for you.
You are the change you’ve been seeking. It’s well within your power to begin learning how to recognize when fear shows up in your life and then transform it, moving closer to experiencing the peace you seek.
In the process of shifting from fear to love in the moment, it’s critical to be able to identify it as it occurs. You most likely experience fear on a daily basis disguised as doubt, worry, anger, and irritation.
The good news, the absolutely splendid news, is that each time you spiral downward you are experiencing your most accessible opportunity—then and there—to shift into love. These are not moments to waste. Instead, times of fear are precious jewels to be mined and used as transformational opportunities.
Let’s start excavating!
In chapter 6 I shared that the first step in shifting your behavior and using fear (instead of it using you) is to observe yourself as you move through your life. This step is key in order to be able to witness fear as it presents itself.
Fear has many faces, and being able to identify behaviors in the moment that you may now consider “normal” but are actually fear-based is critical.
Fear-based responses may look like procrastination, jealousy, impatience, intolerance, judgment, criticism, unkindness, prejudice, coveting, extravagance, hoarding, or a lack of vulnerability or openness.
In earlier chapters we explored cultivating a new habit until it becomes an ongoing practice: witnessing yourself as you move through the world. As you become the observer of yourself and not just the participant, you will discover that moment to moment you generate a crazy amount of negativity. Watching your behavior as it occurs, you’ll notice many judgments arising, tons of self-critical thoughts, many opinions about the behavior of others, and a steady stream of righteousness.
Remember to be gentle with yourself and commit to radical honesty and grace should you be distracted by self-criticism, shame, or guilt. Shame and guilt (also products of fear) only create more negative energy when they become a landing pad for your observation. And believe it or not, they actually distract you from the work of shifting your frequency.
What changes now is what you do with the thoughts and behaviors that you witness.
The simple solution is to observe the fear and have it act as an alert system. In order to do this, you’ll need to create a prompt that represents an alarm going off. When I began this practice many years ago, I created a picture in my mind of an old, round, brass alarm clock that had two large bells on either side of the clock face.
Each time I noticed my fear, I visualized the clock with the bells ringing uncontrollably. I actually saw the movement of the bells in my mind’s eye as well as heard the bells ringing loudly. It was a visual as well as an auditory reminder.
Feel free to utilize your senses as you create your alert system. Perhaps a certain smell or sound resonates with you more than a visual picture. Spend a bit of time and create your personal alert system now. Allow the first picture, sound, or scent that comes into your mind to be your guide. Take a moment and ground your alert system into your being so that you have it to reference every time fear appears for you.
Having an alarm ready to remind you that fear is present is an important step. But once alerted, you will need tools that will
help you to change the actual vibration of fear into the frequency
of love.
Tools for transformation
During the early days of actively observing my state, I was in relationship with a man who was also a spiritual teacher. His work was focused on helping students lose the fear they had. It was then that I learned the phrase that would become one of my most successful and treasured transformational tools: “Wouldn’t it be nice?”
Wouldn’t It Be Nice?
Four simple words that hold a great deal of power. I began to use these words regularly each time I saw myself in judgment, frustration, or anger. As I shared with you earlier, the fear I experienced often showed up as harsh judgment.
Now with my new mantra at my side, each time my alert system was activated and the bells started ringing, I stopped, took a breath, and repeated the words “Wouldn’t it be nice?”
When I felt anger building up when I was exhausted from working so hard and my teenager was once again not being helpful, I found myself saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice if he would just help me out a bit more?” When someone cut me off on the road and I felt my blood start to boil, I’d say, “Wouldn’t it be nice if that person had chosen to give a little more space as they came into my lane?”
When I accessed and spoke these words, I was in the midst of a really difficult moment. Fear is a closed state; it’s a place of limited—or seemingly no—possibilities. Love is an open state; one where we experience expansiveness, the feeling that all possibilities exist in every moment.
You, too, can take on this practice. Take a look at the situations and mantras I’ve highlighted for you below and note which ones resonate with you.
- Wouldn’t it be nice if I could release my frustration and ease into accepting what’s appearing?
- Wouldn’t it be nice if I could relax, even though the train is running late?
- Wouldn’t it be nice if I could lose my jealousy and be happy for my coworker?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to be supportive and gentle with myself when I see that I’m procrastinating?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to lose all of the worry I have around my finances?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to be patient with myself when I see that I’m still not able to trust my higher knowing?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to fill myself with compassion when I notice that I’m impatient?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to finally let go of all past slights and irritations I’m still holding on to?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to see myself as worthy and valuable?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to speak my truth clearly and with love?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to let go of the need to shame and blame others and myself?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to ease into the process of getting older?
- Wouldn’t it be nice not to need to know my purpose and to simply sit in faith?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to stop resisting what is and open to the wonder of divine co-creation?
- Wouldn’t it be nice to lose my expectations and replace them with intentions and actions?
Each time you use these words, end with a new mantra: “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could move through my life from love instead of fear.”
As you say your new mantra, feel each word deeply in your body, and each time you speak this phrase, feel your entire being changing from tight and tense to calm and relaxed. You will be able to physically feel your state changing from one of fear to love in just seconds. This shift will be consistently immediate, extremely present, and powerful.
We’ve learned that words carry frequency and the tone we wrap our words in also carries vibration. Not surprising then that four words, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” wrapped in the energy of love will create such an immediate shift in your state.
As you read these words the low-frequency energy that is guiding your life might begin to cast seeds of doubt. “How can four words truly change my state so quickly?” “I’ll never be able to do this.” “I have too much anger and pain inside of me to release anything so quickly.” If these phrases or any variation of them begin to pop up for you, remember that this is the voice of the low frequency that we are working hard to recognize and replace with the highest knowing within your Lifestream. I’m referring to your intuitive body, and your ability to call upon it as you hear each of these words is your choice. Remember the practice in chapter 2 of pulling the plug from the wall and saying “Cancel that!” each time you see your low frequencies running the show? This is a perfect opportunity to choose to use that practice. Observation and choice are your key building blocks to shifting behaviors that no longer serve you—keep them in your front pocket and use them often!
Years ago, when I started to use these words as a teaching tool for my students, almost every one of them thought I was a little crazy. How could four words move them from anger to peace so quickly? Yet once they actually used the practice, they, too, noticed an immediate and tangible change in their state.
Try it out now. Think of someone in your life whose actions are triggers for your emotions. See them in your mind’s eye and remember a recent time within the last few days when they did something that you felt annoyed, irritated, or hurt by. Feel the emotion that you felt at the time, now, deeply in your body.
Now take a breath, exhale, take another, and consciously feel each word in your body as you say, “Wouldn’t it be nice if they had been kinder to me. Wouldn’t it be nice if they had considered my feelings? Wouldn’t it be nice if they could have been more helpful to me?” Notice how you feel now. Is the charge of anger, frustration, and regret lessened or gone? Perhaps you don’t feel as pained, or you feel lighter, more open, and more at ease.
If you are new to spiritual practices, you may need to repeat these words a few times, making sure to feel the words deeply in your body, being present to each word as you say it before you notice a profound effect. With consistent, active, and conscious effort, you’ll find that in no time your state will change immediately as you say and feel these words fully inside your body.
Isn’t it curious?
It’s curious how the low-frequency body, the ego, works. Many students share that the irritation they experience comes from the behavior of other people around them. What they don’t realize until they begin these practices is that the low frequency within each of us always seeks to place the blame for our pain on the behavior of another rather than accepting that our negative response has continued the pain. It’s not our job to change anyone. Our work is to learn how to respond to any statement or situation from love. For it is our response that creates our next moment. While I clearly am not suggesting that you ever tolerate emotional, verbal, or physical abuse from another, I am advising you to examine and take responsibility for your reply in all situations. For it is here that you can choose love and transform any chaos that has landed.
When I initially placed myself in observation mode and started noticing how often I judged others, I was shocked and embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that I was like Judge Judy nonstop. One minute I was critiquing the fashion sense of the woman walking down the street with way too many patterns going on, and in the next second I was busy quietly criticizing a mother scolding her child. Then my scorn was directed at the person in front of me who didn’t hold the door as I entered the store, and a few moments later I was complaining to myself about the clerk behind the counter at the supermarket who was way too slow.
I also observed that each time I witnessed myself thinking unkind thoughts about another, I felt defeated. It was exhausting and tiring to see how judgmental I was.
Would I ever be able to lose the critical thoughts that seemed to control my mind?
Then one day I had an aha moment. It seemed as if somewhere in the process of observing my behavior toward others, I had begun to criticize myself quite harshly. While seeking to change my habit of judging other people, I had shifted the focus of my disdain to myself. While I was getting better at noticing my disparaging behavior of others, and I was indeed shifting my energy when I observed my criticisms, I had unknowingly become much more critical of myself. That’s how tricky our conditioning can be!
Being able to see my behavior toward others and using it to shift my frequency was helpful. However, the additional judgment of myself was not. As soon as I realized what was happening, I knew I needed to end my nonstop self-criticism.
It was then that three new words became my saving grace. Whenever I noticed myself judging another, I would say to myself, “Isn’t it curious?” “Isn’t it curious that I’m once again complaining about a stranger?” “Isn’t it curious that I’ve allowed my state of peace to disappear because it’s taking me a bit longer to leave the store?” Or a favorite, “Isn’t it curious that I’m so hard on myself for being hard on others?”
When I use these words I like to make sure that I’m holding the energy of compassion. The words “Isn’t it curious?” are open and questioning, and they successfully keep me from going to despair each time I find myself becoming Judge Judy all over again.
The self-judgment I experienced is only one of many manifestations of fear that you will encounter. Begin to examine where and when you become most irritated in your daily life. Do you find yourself cross when you’re driving to work? Are you impatient with certain family members? Do you have a hard time being put on hold while waiting for your call to be answered?
Reflect upon how you feel about the world today. Are you convinced that the world is a colder, harder place than it was when you were younger? Do you feel invisible? Do you feel that kindness is a forgotten courtesy?
Each of these seemingly normal opinions is actually low-frequency energy that is blocking your peace. The great news is that each one is a wonderful opportunity to bring in the phrase “Isn’t it curious?”
- Isn’t it curious that I’m so impatient as I drive to work?
- Isn’t it curious that I get so irritated with my mother?
- Isn’t it curious that I feel the world is so unkind?
Each time you invoke these words as a response to the low-frequency energy that appears, make sure to say them in the energy of openness and lightness.
The two phrases that I’ve shared here, “Isn’t it curious?” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?”, are the quickest, easiest, and most accessible transformational tools that you can keep in your front pocket and pull out whenever you see yourself experiencing fear in any of its forms. I guarantee you that once you start using these phrases when you recognize yourself in fear, you will be transforming your state multiple times each day.
The third way to continue your transformation is to consider what words you use regularly.
Switching out your vocabulary
Our words carry frequency and as we are working to transform from working from ego and lack into abundance and high frequency, replacing words and phrases that carry a lower frequency with high-frequency options enables us to retain our vibrational levels more easefully.
The words we now use refer to the brain and ego. Our new words refer to the higher frequency, to our sensing, and are meant to create a more open and expansive frequency to move within.
| Traditional Words and Phrases | High-Frequency Replacements |
| Good/bad | Serves/does not serve |
| I/me/mine | My Lifestream |
| React | Reflect or respond |
| Goal | Intention |
| Thinking about | Sensing into |
| Understand | Aware of |
| Focused | Present |
| Proud of | Happy or excited for |
| Boundaries | Guidelines |
| Seek or strive | Receive or choose |
| Work at it | Sit with it |
| Think about | Intuit or sense |
| Thinking | Sensing |
| I think that | I wonder if |
I know that my moment-to-moment practice of noticing my low-frequency moments and transforming them as they appear has contributed greatly to the state of peace and calm I experience. With consistent effort you, too, will experience more peace in your life as you use these phrases as transformational tools whenever you find yourself responding to fear with more of the same. You always have the option to respond with a higher frequency of love.
Outside of momentary experiences of pain in our life, there are times when we go through long-term personal difficulty or we live in a time of great external strife. During these times we need additional practices to help us transform the low vibrations we create or the low-vibrational world we experience.
As I write, we are living with COVID-19, which has completely changed (at least for now) the way we experience our daily lives. We no longer shake hands, give out hugs freely, or have an active social life. Masks are placed on our faces, hiding our smiles as we leave our homes, and we think twice before even choosing to go out. Many people have lost loved ones, many businesses have gone under, and some people have even lost their lifelong savings and careers.
During this time of COVID-19 fear is running rampant, and those of us on a spiritual path continue to seek ways to stay safe and out of fear. These are indeed truly difficult times, externally. However, you know what we can do in tough times: we transform them!
When times are difficult and I want to effect great change quickly I use the practice of Laying Down the Shield often. It’s a profound tool that you can use to let go of a recurring fear or a life habit that you are having a hard time releasing. It can also be used when you are having difficulty letting go of a relationship that no longer serves or you are living through a natural disaster.
Action
Laying down the shield
You’ll need about ten minutes for this practice. Find a quiet spot where you’ll have complete privacy. Have in mind a relationship, a lifelong habit, or a specific fear you wish to release.
Sit in a meditation pose or lie down, whichever position is most comfortable for you. Close your eyes and begin to breathe through your nose in long, slow, deep inhale and exhale breaths. Allow your body to completely relax, and when you feel ready, engage your imagination.
See yourself standing in front of a great ocean. It’s a beautiful day, and you are all alone. You feel comfortable and at ease. The sun is gently caressing your face. You realize your feet are bare, and you wriggle your toes in the warm sand.
As you gaze out onto the ocean you take a deep breath and smell the salty sea air. You hear the gulls in the distance as they call to one another, and you feel so relaxed and grateful that you are here at the ocean.
Watching the waves come and go, you suddenly notice there’s an object floating in the water. Each wave brings this object closer and closer to you. As it lands at your feet you look down and realize that you are staring at a shield that looks like it’s from the Knights of the Round Table. You bend down to pick it up, and you observe its shape and color. You reach your hand out and feel the texture of the shield. As you hold it up to your body, you know this shield is yours. It’s the habit you are looking to release; it’s the relationship you’re looking to let go of; it’s the fear that’s been keeping you from the abundant, extraordinary life you so deserve.
As you hold the shield up to your body you realize that it is too small for you; it no longer fits. It has served its purpose and is no longer needed.
It’s time for the shield to go now and serve another. Standing on the shore on this beautiful, sunny day, you thank the shield for its service, and then you place it back into the water. You watch as each wave takes the shield farther and farther away from you, until you no longer see it in the ocean.
You realize that you feel much lighter, full of ease and peace. Take a breath now and allow the air to slowly leave your body.
Take another breath in through your nose, long, slow, and easeful, and as the air releases from your body, bring your consciousness back into your body and back into the room.
This is a potent practice, and each time you use it, you are truly laying down and releasing any energy that no longer serves you. Depending on how much of a charge you’ve given to any one person, habit, or situation, using this practice multiple times will serve you well.
Noticing your fear and transforming it—in the moment—into the energy of love serves you not only immediately but has long-lasting effects. You are, after all, working with energy. You are truly releasing and shifting your frequency. As you work to release any old low frequencies stored from past actions and continue to pay attention to the energy of love that you now choose to create, you will begin to notice new shifts in how you respond to the very people and situations that you’d felt triggered by in the past. You will begin to notice that the people you felt bothered by before no longer affect you. In addition, your patience will automatically increase, and your compassion and tolerance will be on full display. Your general irritation will lessen, and your own Judge Judy can finally be retired!
When you’ve been working with these practices for a while and you notice these shifts in your life, you’ll be at a place of more ease and comfort. And as major shifts occur in your life, you’ll be able to move easefully with the flow of the shifting tides within your life. Losing your old habit of resistance enables all of the unseen possibilities that had always surrounded you to appear.
Janet’s story
Choosing acceptance: Dreams lost and found
My friend Janet, a conscious woman who has dedicated her life to empowering others, was in the second year of a graduate school project when she came up with the idea to create a women’s center. She visualized this as a men’s club for women without the cigars. It took her only twelve months from conception to the actual ribbon-cutting. She credited the smooth and easy process to all of the spiritual work she had done and to the faith that she had built up, which enabled her to get out of her own way and co-create with the Divine. Janet’s center opened, and she was thrilled.
But a year and a half later, the economy tanked and she had to close the doors. She was heartbroken. It was a confusing and painful time for her, as she felt she had truly been on a path.
Rather than letting herself become resistant, angry, or critical, Janet shares that she actively chose to be in a state of loving acceptance.
The entire time I was grieving the loss of my center I knew I was still being guided, for I immediately received a job offer from a friend, and I started to work with her. I had decided to give myself time to heal and learn from a loving space, and supporting her in her venture was exactly what was needed. I hadn’t fully understood how much I was assisting her and contributing to her business until one day a few years later, she opened her second business. I realized that I had just helped someone else achieve their dream, and I knew it was the time to get back to mine.
Six months later I opened my current business, The Superbwoman Inc. I coach women how to lose the need to be the super woman, the never-stopping, always-putting-others-first woman. I empower women to be the superb woman—the one who takes care of and loves herself as much as she loves and takes care of others. I have never looked back, feeling more blessed, more alive, and more on my path now than ever before.
Janet’s story speaks to the trust that we experience when we choose to put our attention on the goodness that surrounds us and when we choose to stay in a high frequency of love even in a time of difficulty. As I shared with you before, we are our attention, and what we put our attention on grows.
Had Janet chosen to experience her grief, sit inside of it, and tell story after story about the pain she was experiencing, she would’ve had a much different life result. But instead, while experiencing her grief, her choice was to place her attention on the grace she felt surrounded by. When the opportunity arose to support her friend in her business, instead of feeling resentful and wondering why her own business hadn’t succeeded and angry that she was being asked to support another, she accepted open-heartedly. Janet continually made conscious decisions that transformed her fears into blessings. The result was that she wasn’t lost inside her emotional body; rather, she was present to her experiences, and she was able then to ultimately recognize when it was time to pursue her own dreams.
Having unmet expectations can be one of the biggest hurdles to experiencing peace. There have been times in my life when I had expectations that my wish would be fulfilled because I had been working so diligently toward an intention that I felt clearly guided to. Yet that intention was never realized.
This has been repeated over and over in the lives of my students and possibly yours as well. When our dreams are not realized as we hoped they would be, we always have the choice of landing inside the energy of regret and resistance, which is a manifestation of fear, or choosing acceptance and being open to something better arriving, which is a manifestation of love.
I do know it is not an easy choice to let go of a dream that you have worked hard for. Because of your conditioning, you may automatically throw yourself full tilt into blame and shame and regret. When this happens, pull out all of the tools I have laid out here for you. Be present to your emotions. Activate your alert system, and transform your fear each moment it appears with the words I have shared with you, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Isn’t it curious?”
You might find yourself several moments in an hour saying, “Isn’t it curious that my dream did not come to pass?” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if all of my hard work delivered my desire?” or, “Isn’t it curious that I’m having such a tough time moving forward?” Or ultimately, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could just let this intention rest?”
Each time you speak these words in response to any pain you are experiencing, know that you are actually moving yourself vibrationally closer to the acceptance of what is truly occurring, and you are energetically walking toward the door that leads you to your next great adventure!
Choosing acceptance is not an intellectual practice; it’s a vibrational one. Sitting inside of not knowing why something that you have deeply yearned for has not occurred—and accepting that reality—is a holy practice, one that you can embrace at any point in your life.
After consistently using the practices I have shared with you and placing yourself in high frequency each time you experience the pain and loss of what you have given up, you will be able to finally let go of the dream that was never meant to be. In that moment when you energetically open up fully inside the frequency of love, the Divine within you is activated.
Working with the frequencies of fear and transforming them by responding with love as they appear in your daily life will serve you well, whether you seek to let go of your anxiety or your habit of judgment and criticism or when you are working with a specific relationship, wish, or desire. Each time you use the practices given to you here, you will be lessening the fear inside your being and filling yourself with divine light.
All of this occurs because you choose love instead of fear.
This is the start of placing yourself in receivership, of losing the belief that you and you alone are responsible for your success in life and opening to the energy of the Oneness that is always waiting for you to choose to acknowledge and activate.
All of this occurs because you choose love.
No workshop creates this opportunity.
No teacher holds your hand moment to moment in your life and guides you each step of the way.
You and you alone choose to transform fear into love each time it appears.
In doing so, you give yourself the greatest gift of all: you choose to co-create with the Divine and live an extraordinary life!
Learning how to co-create with the Divine is critical in order for you to begin to learn how to place yourself at the top of your Grace List in full receivership.
Get ready as you are about to take a deep dive into receivership, the holy process of acknowledging, accessing, and actualizing the light of love that is always present within you!
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This article is an excerpt of the book “Raise Your Frequency, Transform Your Life – How to Respond with Love to Life’s Difficulties” by Selina Maitreya, published by Inner Traditions International and Bear & Company, © 2025. All rights reserved. InnerTraditions.com. Reprinted with permission of the publisher.
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About the author
Selina Maitreya is a lecturer, author, and spiritual teacher. The creator of Clarion Call, an online conference of spiritual teachers, she is a founding member of the Manhattan Holistic Chamber of Commerce and a past board member of the Boston Theosophical Society. She lives in Arlington, Massachusetts.
Source: Global Heart
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