What is a midlife crisis?
(Awaken | written by Donna Quesada) A “Midlife Crisis” isn’t generally offered as an official clinical diagnosis to those seeking clarity and answers, when a vague sense of restlessness and malaise creeps in, at some point during ones 50s, or earlier. Yet, it is a cultural term that we’ve all heard.
What is a midlife crisis?
It’s one of those things that is hard to define and pin down, since it’s an umbrella term, and not only general and varied in its appearance, but also affects everyone differently. Some claim not to have experienced it at all.
A rebirth
Despite its common description as a state of self-doubt and reflection—which is partially true—I would rather describe it a type of awakening. Like that first ray of sunlight peeking out from behind the mountains after a long and grey winter, there is a sense of rebirth.
To what are we awakening? Or, from what are we awakening?
For many people… men and women alike, we start a family and a career at around the same time. It may be in our twenties, after finishing college or trade school, or later, in our 30s, for others. We get locked into our routines, raising kids and rising in our work positions. If we’re satisfied, great, but if not, it is often difficult to make changes because we’ve got mouths to feed and mortgages to pay. In short, we have many expectations placed on us from all sides.
But, once we’ve established ourselves in our careers, raised our kids (if we have them) and otherwise explored and maximized our potential, at least to our own subjective criteria, we feel psychologically ready and able to liberate ourselves from the pattern we helped to establish. This is often the first emergence of a renewed sense of personal power.
So the awakening I speak of, is an awakening both to our newly assumed personal power, and an awakening from our prior taciturnity, or reluctance to break with the routine.
Where does this newfound inner power come from?
It is different for everyone, but speaking for myself, this newfound inner strength came from 10 years of intense spiritual training in the tradition of Kundalini Yoga. Little by little, I came to value my voice, my feelings, and my gumption that my marriage at the time, was not in alignment with my values and what I was prepared to put up with.
But, these realizations always come together in a package… That is to say, they come alongside other realizations, like the simultaneous reckoning that I had the ability to make a go of it on my own, and the confidence that my own resources would be enough to survive on.
For others, this awakening comes from the loss of family members or friends, which stirs our own sense of mortality, and launches us into an existential crossroads. We start asking ourselves things we were too busy to ask ourselves before, when we were too preoccupied with our ambitions. Things like… Do I really want to keep doing what I am doing with the time I have left on earth? Do I still need the money? Am I happy in my relationship? Am I still in love?
Of course, the triggers for this existential crisis are different for everyone, and may well have been born out of physiological shifts, like hormone changes associated with menopause, etc., or by grown children leaving the nest. Any life change can serve as a trigger for this sort of introspective period.
The proper course
The expression, “Midlife Crisis,” has generated many a comedy movie, what with all the stereotypes and clichés of 75 year-old-men with 19-year-old girls and Ferraris. This is a depiction of the existential event when it is improperly managed. It quite easily slips into the clichéd version of itself.
But when consciously navigated, it’s a time of transition. It’s a time to reassess. Because our desires at 50 are likely different than they were at 25. Thus, it’s a time to take stock of our life. A time to take back our power, if that applies. It’s a time to look at what we have accomplished, as well as the time we may have left, and to ask ourselves honestly… what we want to do with that time.
Source: Awaken
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