Everything you need to know about unconditional love
(Goalcast | Matt Valentine) Unconditional love is the hallmark of a strong relationship.
Based on freedom and compassion, unconditional love means you care truly about the other person’s feelings and well-being and aren’t just in it to serve yourself.
It means that in every situation that involves the person you love, you’re thinking about how they might feel, what will happen to them, whether it’s the best thing for them or not (in your opinion), and what you can do to help.
Giving unconditional love isn’t a science. However, there are certain things you can do to make sure the love you’re giving is more selfless and ways you can tell that unconditional love is present in your relationship.
The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
– Brian Tracy
How to give unconditional love (and how to know it’s there)
Giving unconditional love is hard. It’s hard because we’re usually thinking about ourselves more than anything– or anyone– else and, whether we like to admit it or not, that includes your loved ones.
Having said that, there are a few very straightforward things you can keep in mind to give more unconditional love, things you can develop and improve over time. There are also simple ways to identify those elements in your own relationship.
1. Love even when they show their flaws
One of the hard parts of unconditional love is that, for it to be truly unconditional, you have to love someone even when they show their flaws.
True, unconditional love doesn’t run away when things get tough. Someone who loves unconditionally not only loves the other person despite these flaws, but they also love them because of them.
The easiest example is always immediate family, children being the prime example. Not everyone can imagine what this would feel like, but try to imagine how you’d feel if your child was caught stealing. How would you feel towards them? Now, think about how you feel when you see a news report about a random person who robs a liquor store.
Clearly, unconditional love from a parent to a child is a bit different than an intimate relationship because that kind of caring comes automatically for most parents — and forgiveness is limitless. However, it helps to get an idea of what that kind of deep compassion feels like by imagining these scenarios.
Deep down, we all have a basic goodness, and that means the person deserves your compassion and confidence when they falter. You may or may not agree with this, but if you ever hope to love someone unconditionally, you’re going to need to believe in it.
How to know it’s present in your relationship:
Have you forgiven each other in the past over perceived faults or mistakes? Do you avoid holding grudges against each other and seeking payback? Have you opened up to one another about your faults and do you seek, together, to become better as a team?
Those are signs of unconditional love.
2. Offer them unlimited freedom and support
Unconditional love has no boundaries. If you’re ever unsure of how to give love unconditionally, ask yourself if you’re requiring or expecting anything from your partner, or whoever it might be, in return for your love.
One of the most common ways we love conditionally is by expecting them to follow a profession we’re comfortable with.
You might get together with someone when they’re a regional sales manager, office clerk, lawyer, or salesman. However, they might later work up the courage to follow their true passion and want to follow a more difficult path like becoming a professional musician, writer, other form of artist, or entrepreneur. Your response to this change is a clear sign of whether you’re loving conditionally or unconditionally.
Such changes in a relationship are never easy because they tie directly into your financials. However, to give unconditional love you must not only offer them the freedom to be who they truly are, but also encourage it vigorously, being their number one fan.
How to know it’s present in your relationship:
If you and your partner support one another in every endeavor and are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, always encouraging one another to follow dreams even if that means a less secure financial situation, that’s a good sign of unconditional love.
3. Work tirelessly to understand their perspective
One of the most important things to do in any relationship is to work to understand how someone else feels and sees things.
Compassion is a synonym for unconditional love, which means that to love unconditionally you must understand the other person deeply– how they feel, what they’re going through, their past and how that affects their current behavior, etc. and seek to offer your support whenever you see possible.
How to know it’s present in your relationship:
Do you often preemptively do things to help the other person because you already know how they’re feeling?
Can you not remember the last time you or your partner said “you just don’t understand me”? That’s a pretty good sign you understand each other and give and receive unconditional love.
Source: Goalcast
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