(OMTimes | Paulette Sherman) Attract the kind of dating success you desire. Often, people think that dating success is about outer things like looks and where you meet someone. It is important to act, but it is equally important to be ready within, and to become aligned with what you want to attract. Otherwise, you can go on a thousand dates and think about how awful men are and why you’d rather be at home alone in bed. So, do an inner-house cleanse to match your vibration with the kind of dating success you want to attract
1. Notice your thoughts:
If you’d like to meet the love of your life, then it helps to have positive thoughts about dating success, the opposite sex, love, relationships, and marriage. This covers a lot of ground so take some time to list out any negative beliefs that you may be telling yourself about these things and challenge them. For example, if you tell yourself, ‘All men are jerks,’ you can begin to think of exceptions to this, making note of the wonderful men that you already know.
2. Notice your feelings:
Your feelings are powerful indicators of what you attract and they are constantly sending nonverbal messages. So, you can say that you want true love but if your feelings are screaming to men, ‘Stay away from me. I don’t trust you,’ it may be hard for you to allow someone in. Notice how you feel and try to shift those feelings regarding dating success, the opposite sex and about having a relationship. Imagine all the great feelings you can experience with the right person.
3. Walk your talk:
If you really want something it is important that your actions match that intention. So, if you want a relationship then create a dating success action plan and do the work. Join some dating sites or go to singles events regularly and ask people to fix you up. Make sure that you are walking your talk and are actively putting your intentions into action.
4. Remain in place:
Often when you are in the process of manifesting something it won’t come right away. Many people set the intention, work on their feelings, and visualize what they want. And, when it doesn’t come in a timely way, they give up hope. Your job is to stay aligned and to keep the faith and to keep vibrating it will happen. In the context of dating, you may experience rejection and have a lot of bad dates, but know that a good match is out there for you–and don’t give up.
5. Be Open to what the universe delivers:
After you have put out the essence and feeling of the match you want, don’t get too attached to how that will look. Be willing to be surprised and stay open-minded. I am not suggesting that you settle, but sometimes the universe sends you someone who matches you more than you would have imagined. So, give people a chance.
6. See it:
Visualization is an inner rehearsal. Practice seeing yourself on fun dates, feeling excited about getting to know new people. Notice how good it feels to be appreciated and part of a healthy, loving relationship. Picture your dating success in detail on a regular basis, instead of scaring yourself.
7. Vibrate self-love:
You are as attractive as you feel, and you only allow someone to love you as much as you love yourself. So, notice your self-talk. Stop yourself from saying damaging things and appreciate yourself as you are, now. Make a list of what makes you a great potential mate and read it before each date for confidence.
About the author
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist, life coach & author of, ‘The Book of Sacred Baths: 52 Bathing Rituals to Revitalize Your Spirit’ published by Llewellyn, and ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books. She has written 21 books, translated into six languages. She has a private psychotherapy practice in New York City, and does phone consultations as a dating and life coach.
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